on kindness and gas stations

So for some of the last few times I went to the gas station a guy( whom i presume is homeless) asked me for a dollar. And I completely ignored him.

However as I passed him on the way home last night I felt this slight pang of guilt. I am not sure why exactly because technically I dont owe him anything.

But you see that really isnt the point. The point is whether I can continuously see another human being in a state of need and not try to help.

You see, whenever we see homeless people we immediately think, you should just get a job.My heart tells me that things are not always as simple as that.


I can just imagine people saying, rog you are a bleeding heart liberal. But whats the alternative? be an uncaring snob?. I mean I dont know what circumstances caused these people to be in their current situation. Who knows it could happen to me? and I would hope that some soul would give me assistance, however small in a time of need.

There is the old cliche you shouldnt judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. come to think of it I agree with this for the most part.

He asks me for a dollar which in the scheme of things is not a big deal. I mean I could try to be all self righteous and say that he should pull himself up by his bootstraps or that he is going to use it to buy drugs. But I wont.The view from a high horse can be tiring sometimes ya know :)

Now maybe I wont give him that dollar everytime, but I would feel a little better if at least some of the times I think he wont totally starve because of my dollar.

Maybe that is a selfish sentiment. maybe I am only giving him that dollar to assuage some guilt.or maybe a litte kindness really is a shot to liven up my mood.

so go ahead, show some kindness. that little bit just might affect both the recipeint and the giver in this human equation.

fathers and daughters

Mothers get most of the recognition but a good father is instrumental.( props to mothers still). Bear with me.

The relationship or lack thereof with a father in a girl's life is extraordinarily important. It basically ends up shaping for the most part how that girl eventually ends up relating to men. So a relationship with a father may end up being more important during the teenage years of a girl because that is when she is most susceptible to predatory vices.

I have a friend who is a school teacher who is constantly telling me of young girls who are heading fast down the wrong path. Drugs, fights, sex in school bathrooms caught on cellphone( yea, i shook my head too). And the one constant factor is a missing father. Now I am not trying to say that without a father figure a girl cant turn out to be a success. I am just saying that in most cases it makes a huge difference.

that father should be there to let his daughter know that he loves her, that he expects good things of her, he should be there in case of disappointment. he should be there to be the support at times.

If I ever had a daughter and she became pregnant young I dont see any other choice than I would have to be an anchor. Yea I would be pissed, I might rant and rave and might even say things I dont really mean.

But then I will go back and apologize and tell her that I wont be turning my back on her or throwing her out of the house. because in my opinion that is irresponsible.
I have seen how kids having kids starts a vicious cycle. And if I have a daughter in the future, believe that I wont be the one to start this vicious cycle.

sigh

Gym Log-Week 1 and other assorted tidbits

So I have completed the first week at the gym. So how was it you ask?

Wel my muscles are screaming blue murder as I type this. I am moving gingerly as muscles in various parts of my body silently seek retribution for the torture I put them through.

all in all, it was tough but worthwhile.

this weekend I am going nowhere as I allow these muscles to stretch, soak and relax.


In other news ,one of my dogs sems to have an ingrown toenail which is causing him to limp. It all arose from an incident years ago when this crazy bitch ran over my dog while speeding. We werent even on the road at the time. One of his injuries was that a toenail came out.So off to the vet to have them take a look at it.

Trust

Dont you trust me? How many times have you heard somebody say this to you? Well here's my take.

Trust is one of those defining things that characterise any relationship. So basically the dynamics of the relationship is built on the level of trust.

Some people say once you gain someone's trust they should trust you no matter what. Well thats nice but that seems strange to me( thats the cynic in me I guess).

Trust seems to me to be one of those things that someone constantly earns. Let's take our mothers for example. We trust our mothers almost completely, thats because throughout the course of our lives they have always chosen what was best for us, sometimes in lieu of treating themselves. That bond of trust has been solidified.

Having said that, if they were to somehow, for some strange reason, deliberately chose to hurt you, whether emotionally or physically, all that trust built up over those years could be shattered.

That's why I think trust is a deep thing that is gained OVER TIME. This is also why I find it strange when people claim to completely trust people that they have know for a short time.

There are degrees of trust no doubt. But that deep lasting trust must be earned constantly.

Thoughts?

PS. Happy Valentines Day.

Religion, roger and staying power

I am a horrible child of God. Sounds strange dont it? stay with me tho.

I believe in God, believe in adhering to the general tenets of christianity. believe in loving anind and so forth. So why am I so lousy at it?

I swear, I dont pray or thank God as often as I should. I mean I have prayed to him when I wanted stuff. But that isnt the way it should have been done.

So basically I am really going to strive be a better christian. but I said that the last time and the time before.so basically am I built to be a sinner? Who knows?

And it isnt that I want to become some holier than thou individual. I just want to become a better person and for all the knocks against christianity and organized religion there are things to be taken from them. Respect, love for your fellow man, fidelity, honesty among others. There is some very ambiguous stuff in religion tho if we are being honest here.

Mood- pensive

So how are ya rog?

So I am asked this quite often? My response is I am level. Yea, somebody from another country/culture would have no idea what i mean, but a local would understand .

It pretty much means things are status quo. But I recently got to thinking, the last 5 years or so of my life have been just level. Not particularly happy, or sad for that matter.

So what do I make of this? Well I dont really know. I cant really remember a really long period of my life where I was like seriously happy. Not like even back to back months. I would have a good few days and a few sucky ones. Or just like average days where I alternated between being cheerful and pissed.


Which brings me to the next question. How do I go about achieveing long term happiness? Will I get it from a really satisfying job? a relationship, finding my passion for who knows what?

basically i am not unfullfilled? However sometimes I wonder if I am missing out on the world?